I have come to realise that I have a problem. Champagne. It is a real problem – and something needs to be done. Over the last month I have probably spent more on champagne than most people’s monthly living costs. This can not go on forever – as on one occasion I spent more than I earn in a week – on one night of drinking champagne. Yes – I suppose that you could consider me a hero, sacrificing myself bravely to end the global recession. But – I think I’ve done enough now, and the news reports certainly seem to support this. I think it’s time for a rest from being so selfless. My one last fling was on Wednesday night. A free bar – as it was a function celebrating my project being finished. But – even with an open bar, I somehow managed to purchase two magnums of champagne.
Anyway – all that is in the past now. Let us look to the future. I seem to have somehow been talked into moving house. When all is certain – I’ll let some of you know my new address. However – it seems that my new place will NOT have a jacuzzi. It will NOT be within 30 minutes commute of work. It will NOT be 5 minutes walk from my local pub. It will NOT have a carpeted bathroom. It will NOT have a bidet. Somehow I’m trading all of this for a Chook. This is yet another recent instance which can only be explained by rohypnol.