And, it turns out that somebody else has the exact same desires, and the exact same lack of understanding of the english language.
Different phone number, same request (demand? simple statement?).
I am getting a little worried, but the intrigue is outweighing that for now.
So – got a text message this morning, from a number unknown to me, stating:
“I want ur dick ass and feet”
This has perplexed me, as you would expect.
I guess a true “grammar nazi” would make a point of taking the message at face value… that this person is crying out for feet, and some ancient Sumerian dick-filled (flavoured? patterned?) ass.
I know my grammar is far from perfect… I know there are grammatical errors in this very rant for people to gleefully and smugly point out. But I do try to at least use enough punctuation to make my ungrammatical ramblings unambiguous. I sometimes re-read an email at work a dozen times: inserting commas, semi-colons, even words – until I get some possible meaning out of it. And usually arrive at multiple interpretations to select from, often contradictory.
Grammar, particularly punctuation. And spelling. It could be the difference between you getting some smelly old Iraqi dick-smelling ass and feet; and my sweet dick, ass, and feet.
It’s worth the effort.
[edit]: another, optimistic, interpretation has been suggested – perhaps a secret admirer who has given me the nickname “ass and feet”.
Any other suggestions?
[edit2]: whoever this is, they’re persistent. A repeat message was received in the evening, reiterating their desire of my dick ass and feet. I had to respond, if only to get some more clues as to intentions.
So, it seems the company hosting my website has, well… disappeared.
And, like the professional-computer-nerd I am, I never took a back-up of main content.
I’m hoping to get something off the old company if I ever track them down, in the meantime… this is it.
Fall 2014 – not much happening at all. Wore my woolly hat for the first time today.
1 gig – Future of the Left. Was good… the crowd banter didn’t sound particularly authentic, having seen them before. But bass guitarist crowd-surfing was pretty sweet.
And that was pretty much it. The only other events of note were actually not events, but confirmation/portents of events to come…
I seem to be becoming very bad at keeping this whole “web presence” thing actively updated. Perhaps I need a New Year’s Resolution to get things going again. 2015… yeah, next year – everything will be better next year.
Anyway – the last… two months?
Went to Crete. Rented a bike there, rode around a bit. Saw a gorge, swum at some beaches, drank some wine, ate some olives, and tzatziki, and lamb – and everything with olive oil, and all that. Very nice. On the last day, heading back to house before going to the airport, I decided on one last little “detour via country roads”… and soon became very lost, and testing my offroad/dirt-bike skills. But, all good.
Ani DiFranco – went to another Ani DiFranco gig, but this time – become one of those people I’ve never understood, just hanging out at the bar talking – not paying attention to gig at all.
Right – it’s been a while, and a fair bit happened…
Nine Inch Nails – struggling to remember it, but I assume it was big and noisy.
New Zealand – went home, visited some people, missed out on visiting others. Rode my new bike (photos below) – fell off it on the 2nd day… not particularly serious – but enough to require buying a new helmet and laptop screen, and feel rather sore for a few days, and bent a few bits and pieces on the bike. Put about 3,500 km on it. Spent some time with the niece & nephews – which was all good, even if half the time I was jetlagged, and just watching them.
Rarotonga – island time. Riding a scooter around – didn’t fall off it. Snorkelling. Sun. Just chilled. Old Dog. New Dog. New New Dog. Jigsaw puzzle. Didn’t walk across the island. Didn’t go fishin’. Didn’t go divin’. Still, it was good.
Jared & Jess got married. My first beach wedding… everything I’d dreamed it would be. I cut my hair short one one side, fashioned myself a good old side-to-side comb-over, complete with plenty of hair product, etc. I was a little disappointed in the number of comments – mostly because it suggests people thought I was being serious. Photos to come. Oh, and next day – shaved my head… over a month later, I’m still not used to it, or happy about it. But, it is what it is.
Back to England on the Monday – had two gigs scheduled for Thursday night. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart, or Beth Orton. I’d seen them both before – so I opted for Beth, as it was at the Barbican – super close, and seated – so I could easily doze off if I wanted. Which I didn’t want, but I did anyway. Beth, as always – pretty good.
BST festival at Hyde Park – Lucy Rose, Half Moon Run, Caitlin Rose, The National, Neil Young – the acts I managed to see… all of whom were rather good. Although Half Moon Run seemed a lot more “bro-bro” than I would have expected. And I drank a little more champagne in the sun than was probably good for me, and I watched most of Neil Young’s set from a nice relaxed spot where I could sit down and read my book.
And now, three weeks back – I’ve finally got “my UK bike” ready for some summer rides… battery was dead when I got back, and miscellaneous other upkeep bits to do – but hopefully this weekend, will get some miles on it, and see if my experience on “my NZ bike” has helped me get the knee down a bit lower.
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