01 April
Talked to tourist agency – reckons that they managed a trip to the falls yesterday, and are going to try again tomororrow. If we can’t make it by boat, the flight back will overfly it. Get to see them one way or the other. Very expensive though. But – I take it. Really want to see the highest waterfall in the world.
Spend rest of day walking around, drinking cerveza. Everywhere closes in evening. Ridiculously expensive hot dogs and cerveza from hot dog stand. All booze stores closed. Back to hostel for one last cerveza (all the way from Margarita). The hostel locks it’s doors at around 8 or 9pm – owners can’t hear bell, guests have instructions not to let anybody in. And we don’t have any way of leaving unless somebody else presses the button to release front gate, while you’re there to open the gate. I want to leave at 6:30 tomorrow, lady assures me she’ll be up.
02 April
6:45 – no lady. Climb-out/jump-off of window/mini-balcony. Wait for ages at tour place. Try to get cash out – no dice. Will have to pay with Visa, with extra 10% surcharge. 10% of a lot is a lot. Wait for ages at airport. Offered free vaccinations for Yellow Fever, measles, and chicken-pox. Get in plane. 6-seater (incl pilot), rather old. Pilot wearing nice official looking pilot shirt, with tight black Levis. I fall asleep in plane somehow, waking up just for awesome views, and landing. Landing is approaching airstrip at right angles, banking steeply, and straightening about 10 seconds before touchdown.
Meet some of my fellow tourists. A group of 4 christians. One describes his job as “full-time evangelist missionary”. He’s south african. Another member is his american ‘workmate’. Another young seppo, and the south african’s sister. Also, 3 germans, an american girl, and 8 or so latin americans. Split into two groups – I’m stuck with christians, and germans. Germans seem alright. Boat trip across Canaima lagoon to some waterfalls. Walk behind one of them. Pretty nice waterfalls. Listen to missionary’s discussing the guide – and chances of conversion. Go for a swim. Small fish trying to eat me. Catch boats upriver – over rapids – and get to ‘campsite’. Big openwalled shed, with hammocks slung up. After dinner – much chitchat at dinner table. But – my choice of german conversation, spanish conversation, or fundamentalist christan conversation. I opt for laying on grass outside by myself.
Today I saw: frog, crab, various birds, fish trying to eat me, giant bee, big loud cicadas.
 03 April
Not much sleep. Plenty of rain overnight. Lay there hoping that it was enough rain that the river level would rise enough for us to make it to falls, and for the clouds to disappear so we can see the top of the falls. Had been told we’d be woken up at 5, as we had to leave by 5:30 to make it. I got up at 6:15, was only person up. Left base at 8am. Venezuelan time – it’s marvellous. Nearly capsize boat on first rapids we attempt. Rest of the way – pretty easy. Walk through jungle. Pointed out plants/etc. Get to falls lookout. Top hidden by cloud. And not much water coming off it. Still pretty impressive though. Tallest waterfall in the world, you know? Slowly – cloud dissipates – get to see the entire thing. Cool. Walk further – swim in the pool at bottom of one of the bottom falls which make up the entire thing. First attempt at using waterfall for waterslide – hit exactly the rock I was trying so hard to miss, with my arse. Half somersault forward, and very very sore arse. Very very sore. Finally checked out the bruise about 4 days later – and entire left cheek was black & purple. Nice swim though. Using the largest waterfall in the WORLD as a massage machine.
Back to camp. Next load of tourists arrive. Including norwegian couple I met on Isla de Margarita. With cerveza. Sweet. Campfire lit – listen to local legend about the falls. Which leads to christian asking if the guide really believes that the water is magical. Kruse grits teeth. Gudies trying to get each nationality to sing a song. South Africans sing national anthem – in Afrikaans, of course. Missionaries have been chatting to our guide, Hector, about christianity a lot. Systematically remove him from group, and then BANG. That night, about 3am, the christian sleeping in the hammock next to me seemed to be sleeptalking – in tongues.
Today I saw – tallest waterfall in the world, Luxembourgian.
04 April
American girl tells me over breakfast that I remind her of a character in Lost. A rock star. I take this to mean that I both look like an actor, and like a rock star.
Boat trip back to Canaima. Walk along beach. Christian chatting to Austrian about EU. “What about the religion of the EU?” Just. Doesn’t. Stop.
Lunch, cervezas, chatting, swapping of email addresses, etc. Go with 1st group to airport. Wait. Raining. Wait. 2nd half of our group arrives at airport. Wait. Overheard between christians – “You think we’ve got enough time to finish with Hector?” Pull Hector aside, and continue their three-on-one saving of his soul. After several hours, after which even the souvenir ladies had packed up and gone home, we got told we could get on a plane. I get stuck with christians, again. No safety video about using electronic devices during flight, so I wasn’t concerned when pilot received and made cellphone calls while flying. Landing at Ciudad Bolivar was same as at Canaima. Approach from side, bank, touchdown. Makes for easy air traffic control, I guess.
Ciudad Bolivar in midst of Semana Santa (Holy Week) celebrations. Purple-robed cultists everywhere. As of tomorrow – no buses running fo two days. Phone calls – all buses booked for tonight. I catch taxi to bus station with american girl anyway – and hope for the best. Two buses going to Santa Elena – both full. I stand around, waiting for one to say that somebody hasn’t turned up. The crappy little one does so first. I get on. Watch as whitey in front seat is told he can’t take his boots off, too smelly, and is forced to put his boots in a seperate luggage compartment outside bus, and wash his feet. Meanwhile, my feet reek – and I discreetly slide off my shoes. Instant smell. But – everybody will blame other guy. Sweet. Very uncomfortable bus ride, but am escaping Ciudad Bolivar where shops are always closed.
Today I saw: birds; miniature frog/toad; ladybird ant; grasshopper attacking me with colourful pufferfish tactics; stick insect climbing on me.